This is a poem which I can say I can personally relate to. As someone who is not accustomed to the American way of life, the cultural shock took some time to getting used to; especially the individualistic and lonesome lifestyle that people living in America have to live through. Back in my home country, people and societies are not individualistic at all. People live in tight-knit communities and families where your progress in life is determined the people living around you. If you are a male, then in my culture (and in the whole of South Asia too) you are expected to live with your parents throughout your life. Even if you are a girl, you will be living with your parents until you get married and then, move into your husband’s.. and parent-in law’s home.That is the reason why parents and children share a very deep and intimate relationship in my part of the world.
It was very difficult for me to leave my family and come and adjust in America, where you do not know a soul.That is why, I believe I share the poet’s beliefs that the sufferings and hardships he has to face in this country will make a better person out of him. Like him, I too, feel that this struggle is a good thing and “love this cultured hell that tests my youth”.
Couldn’t agree any more with you on the importance of family and the relationship you should keep with your parents throughout life. You correct, in America it is not as much of an importance to some people; who visit their parents once a year (if that). My parents have always taught me how important family is and my mom lives only a few hours from her parents so she can see them 4-5 times a year. However, I think your viewing of Americans as “individualic and lonesome” may be from a short sample of time in this country. I’m hoping most Americans have some sort of relationship with someone (whether it is their parents, wife, husband, kids, other relative, friends, etc.) that can help them through tough times and be there when they need them. I do think you and the poet can definitely relate and share the same beliefs though. As such, I hope you can find the “test of your youth” as a great learning experience and take something from the struggle. Good luck with your adjustment and i hope it takes less time, and goes better, than you expected!
Personally, I think America is universally warm but locally cold, and this is not meant as an insult. America is a country that provides every basic and global needs for its citizentry but that which really matters – human contact. Renowned Psychologists have proven the many benefits of human contact. Sadly though, this is missing in America. The only contact here is through the electronic media – TV, Radio, Newspapers, Internet, etc. It is not so glaring to the natives, but coming from outside like I do too, it is the first thing that you experience and I don’t think I will ever get used to it. My neighbour back where I live would rather run back into her house and pretend like she forgot something than pass pleasantries with my family. Back where I come from, your neighbours would come knocking on your door if you’ve not been spotted for a whole day. So I completely understand your feelings Abishek, but just like anything in life, you’ll acclimatize, just give it time.